heart

All day today, I kept feeling this "saddness" but it wasn't really saddness. I'd open my mouth to pray and I would find myself overwhelmed with the greatness of God and how thick His love is that I felt as if I was almost suffocating because His love is too great and too intense - in a good way.

I was driving home again and I began praying and the same feelings overcame me again. The first couple of times I knew it was the Spirit of God upon me but didn't think anything else beyond that. Just here recently I began to ask God what was going on and why I was feeling what I was feeling. I asked Him to reveal to me what was going on - the truth of my heart. He graciously answered immediately after I asked. I didn't hear an audible voice but I knew in my spirit God say, "You are feeling what I am feeling. You have my heart." For that moment, I felt a fraction of what Jesus felt when He was persecuted, misunderstood, rejected, forgetten, betrayed by the very people that He walked with, talked with, and served. Then for that moment I felt a fraction of what God the Father felt - His jealously for His creation. It hurt. I literally felt His pain & ache in my heart.

What a generous God that He would allow me such an experience.