closer

ever since i was a little girl i have always been motherly with motherly instincts. i was either the bulldog that made sure no one was harmed or the one with tissue and band-aid ready for any wounded solider or the tattle teller that wouldn't allow someone to be mistreated. this journey has begun for me at a very young age but over the years, God has increased its' intensity -- to a whole 'nother level!

my heart has always been drawn to the helpless and harassed, somehow my heart is connected in a special way i cannot describe. as if i can feel their pain and even moments where i literally feel as if i am experiencing their suffering directly. though God has spared me from much compared to many stories of suffering we have heard, there are many moments when He allows me to experience a glimpse of their pain, fear, hurt -- so that i may be able to empathize with their situation. and to think, i haven't even left america! i have always known the call on my life, why else would He make my heart the way He did? but as i get closer and closer to the full reality of that calling in its' tangible form, it is too much for me to consider that He would task a redeemed sinner like me with such a task to love, tend and care for people. what a great burden He has entrusted, one i do not take lightly.

i dare not compare my scars with those who face life and death challenges everyday but i too have had my share of pains and hurts. i have, Lord knows i have but in all things, no regrets because it has strengthened and shaped me to be the person i am today. it has drawn me closer to The One. my hurts will allow me to go places my "perfect" life may not have given way to. it has loosened me to praise Him like never before. so for that, i praise God for He redeems all things. surely what the enemy means for destruction, our God turns it to good for the alleviation of someone else's pain. his love is too great for me to allow the pains to stop me. in all things, the good and bad has allowed me and will continue to allow me to gain entry into the lives of those hurting who have no way out.

i know he has called my heart for more -- i so desire to meet the needs of people, hurting people.

this is a song i discovered mid-August, how it rings true in my heart.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OSdP6PqsbJY

closer to the heart of God -- His heart has always been for the lost, broken, widows, fatherless and poor.

may we be so "wrecked" with the injustice we see that it would force us to rise up. and may the love of Christ mess you up that you can't not do what He charged Peter in the Gospel of John, "feed my sheep."

someone just feed his sheep. tend to his people. Lord, let it start with me.