Testimony

EY leaders were asked to type up their testimony for EY's lesson tomorrow. Here is a blurb from mine. It is still in progress - editing & refining but here is the raw deal.

Growing up, I knew a lot about God but I didn’t know God personally. I had a lot of religion but not a relationship – a personal relationship with God. My view of God was limited. I simply viewed God as Creator of earth and mankind but after that task was completed, He left me here on earth & went back to heaven to do His own thing. The only “contact” I had with God was when I needed something or was in trouble, I would pray to Him. Other than that, He seemed to be this distant and far off God. But little did I know that God, yes, still creator of the earth, who made me & placed me on earth BUT He has also been passionately & persistently pursuing me - my heart & friendship with a desire to have a loving, intimate, personal relationship with me, yes me, even before time! My life was completely transformed when I realized God was more than Savior & far off Creator- He wants to be the Lover of my Soul, My All in All.

Before I truly understood what my faith meant, church was just something I did on Sunday. Being a Christian was somewhat like an extracurricular activity for me. I would do the “church” thing on Sunday but Monday through Saturday, I lived my own life, as if I were a totally different person.

I was your typical Sunday Christian. I did the church thing on Sunday – faithfully attended church, sang in the choir and I even helped out with various ministries. Being a Christian and going to church was something I fitted into my life- my own life, the way I wanted to live. I was divorced of any true passion or conviction for church or God, it was a duty - a chore to go to church & do the “I am a good person” church thing.

Being a Christian was not who I was, it was just something I did. I was a wanna be party goer, tried smoking and drinking – only once but that was enough for me to feel completely retarded because I didn’t even know how to hold the stupid cigarette. I even had a potty mouth – oh man, I praise God for how He helped me stop cursing.

I would constantly wear these different “masks” depending on what day it was & which group of friends I was around. I was constantly “changing” – just trying to fit in, hoping I would find this deep sense of belonging & love my heart longed for – I wanted to be complete. But my heart was never satisfied. I was always left empty at the end of the day and tired. Tired of being someone different everyday and living what seemed to be a double and fake life. I was never truly happy. In my attempt to figure out who I was & an answer to my question whether my life had any real meaning & value, I found myself running to all these different things hoping something or someone would fill me up. It wasn’t until my senior year in High School and 1st year of college that I was introduced to this concept of having a personal relationship with God. I called myself a “Christian” and the new friends I found at college also called themselves a Christian but our lives & perspective seemed so different. There was something about them that was so different and I wanted it.

I praise God for how He divinely orchestrated & purposed every person I met in college who has helped me grow in my faith and understanding of who God is & what my faith is really all about. I came to realize that the God who created me, is the One who can complete and satisfy me. I was created by Him for Him. In Him, I find my worth, value & significance. In Him, I find who I truly am. I no longer had to pretend to be someone I wasn’t just to fit in or feel loved. I didn’t have to wear certain clothes or do certain things to win His approval or friendship – He loves me & longs for my friendship just the way that I am – because He created me that way. My life was completely transformed when I understood the profound Truth that my faith was NOT about a religion but it is all about a relationship. A personal relationship with God through Jesus Christ.