ah-ha!
For quite some time now I have had this question and couldn't seem to find an "answer" and then I had a "ah-ha" moment during dinner last night mid-way into my question. So simple but yet so profound (I think) that it made me feel kind of silly it was so simple. I think I complex things too much.
So I posed a question to my gfriend a couple of months ago specifically in regards to our marriages as to how do we safeguard and be "proactive" in protecting it while being careful not to borderline speak things into existence or bring about a self-fulfilling prophecy addressing or bringing something up that does not exist but for the sake of making sure that it won't become an issue. Got it? OK, kind of confusing but it makes sense in my head. I have been thinking about it off and on and last night I brought it up again. My husband and I have this thing where we will pose certain questions to take a look at both angles and then find biblical truth and basis to the balance of the two extremes.
So we are eating in Cafe Saigon (new VN restaurant in Pearland, not bad if you are having a craving and can't get out to Bellaire), I ask the question & stop mid way and begin to giggle b/c God just gave me the response. Am I building up the suspense to the response? :)
I sensed God simply say, "you just do your part. Take care of yourself & what it is your responsibility and roles." God is about structure and order. I think I was looking for a "formula" or something a little more on the lines of actually doing something in "addition" but God is simply saying I need to take care of me and everything else will fall into place - in order. Let me break it down.
Safeguarding marriage: hounding your husband or grilling him about his whereabouts, checking his phone, etc. is not healthy. Yes, early in the marriage make boundaries, "rules" and expectations clearly known - a covenant and abide by them. For ex: my husband and I will not have a meal with anyone of the opposite sex w/o one another present and if there is a circumstance where one mate absolutely needs to meet w/ someone (outside of a counseling session) the other mate is informed first. Even with counseling sessions, the other mate is always made aware of the time, date and with whom. Ok, moving along.
So if I as a wife am taking care of myself & fulfilling my roles which will in turn bring him joy and satisfy him then my husband has absolutely no reason to wander or desire anything than what he has at home. Make sense? Praise God.
So I posed a question to my gfriend a couple of months ago specifically in regards to our marriages as to how do we safeguard and be "proactive" in protecting it while being careful not to borderline speak things into existence or bring about a self-fulfilling prophecy addressing or bringing something up that does not exist but for the sake of making sure that it won't become an issue. Got it? OK, kind of confusing but it makes sense in my head. I have been thinking about it off and on and last night I brought it up again. My husband and I have this thing where we will pose certain questions to take a look at both angles and then find biblical truth and basis to the balance of the two extremes.
So we are eating in Cafe Saigon (new VN restaurant in Pearland, not bad if you are having a craving and can't get out to Bellaire), I ask the question & stop mid way and begin to giggle b/c God just gave me the response. Am I building up the suspense to the response? :)
I sensed God simply say, "you just do your part. Take care of yourself & what it is your responsibility and roles." God is about structure and order. I think I was looking for a "formula" or something a little more on the lines of actually doing something in "addition" but God is simply saying I need to take care of me and everything else will fall into place - in order. Let me break it down.
Safeguarding marriage: hounding your husband or grilling him about his whereabouts, checking his phone, etc. is not healthy. Yes, early in the marriage make boundaries, "rules" and expectations clearly known - a covenant and abide by them. For ex: my husband and I will not have a meal with anyone of the opposite sex w/o one another present and if there is a circumstance where one mate absolutely needs to meet w/ someone (outside of a counseling session) the other mate is informed first. Even with counseling sessions, the other mate is always made aware of the time, date and with whom. Ok, moving along.
So if I as a wife am taking care of myself & fulfilling my roles which will in turn bring him joy and satisfy him then my husband has absolutely no reason to wander or desire anything than what he has at home. Make sense? Praise God.
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