ATF GREENSBORO 2011: Sanctus Real - Lead Me/Forgiven

So this is raw footage from ATF. You know where to go to find the 'clean/recorded' version. :)

I love seeing young people get excited for God and watch as it spills over and continues to spill over. We took our youth and young adults. They keep me running after Jesus.

This song is definitely a favorite. The lead singer shares transparently the conception of the song. The song was conceived and birthed out of his real life - marriage and family. The words of the song is exactly the things the singer was facing and asking God for help. Somewhere along the road, he (the artist) just got lazy. Praise God for his transparency. No judgment here, we've all been there!

When I first heard the song, I identified. Ministry has so many blessings, but I will never deny it also has it challenges. The main one is balance.

But today as I hear the song, somehow God has tuned my heart towards the words differently.

If I may share candidly, I have been frustrated the past couple of days. A holy frustration. Frustrated not to the point of despair or giving up. Just frustrated. You know what I mean. Frustration is not an indicator of lack of faith. Perhaps it an indication of more work, hard work. Not for God, but for me that is! Funny. I told you, my inclination would be to tear down, not renovate but in God's humor, we renovate.

So back to the song. In a previous season, I was primarily on the receiving end, meaning, I needed my husband to sing those words over me. But today. Literally as I am typing. In response to my holy frustration, I hear God say, not in an audible voice but I know in my spirit: 'Sue, sing these words over the young generation, the flock I have given you.' Interpretation: God has seen all things. He knows my heart. Just a little more. Keep pushing, for them. They need me to be strong for them. To lead them. Regardless of the Church (universal) politics and quite frankly the slumber (laziness), whether knowingly or unknowingly, I can't allow for those frustrations to stop me or slow me down from pushing on behalf of those I am called to protect and lead. I need to continue to do MY part not only in the face of certain realities but because of those realities.

So where does this leave me? Well, giving up was never an option. I wouldn't. I love God too much. I love the people too much. I'm addicted. I'm in too deep, can't turn back. God has re-tuned my heart and re-fixed my eyes on the ones He has given me to shepherd.

I am not in control. I cannot change what only God can do. So why stress out! Make no mistake, I DO NOT resign or resolve to allow what should not be to be. It keeps me up at night praying and asking God to intervene on behalf of His Bride, the Church. But, I choose not to stress out. Or more accurately, I ask God to help me stop stressing out when I find myself stressed out! Hey, just keeping it real guys. My confidence: God will do it. In His time. Praise the Lord.

Labor. It's tiring. While you know the baby - blessing is on the way, nonetheless, the process still requires hard work! Am I speaking to anyone? :) And then compound external factors that just make the process less than simple at times. But even in that, God reminds me, it's not about me. Wow, God. Am I not entitled to be a little selfish once in awhile? (JK. Can you sense my sarcasm? - lol)

So friend, when you feel like you have pushed and pushed, there is still more pushing. But take heart, there is a joy in the process. And praise GOD there is a joy awaiting us that is even greater!!